An Aussie in their midst
by Capt. Cow
Summary: Reply to the colloquialisms challenge. An Aussie, enters stalag 13. The heroes are in for a bit of a ride. REVIEW PLEASE! Chapter 9. This story is now complete!
1. Arrival of the Aussie

An Aussie in their midst.  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own Hogan's heroes characters, but Corporal Freed-Cot is mine.  
  
Summary- This is a response to the 'Colloquialisms challenge' posted by SmileyAussieGal.  
  
COLLOQUIALISMS CHALLENGE!  
  
Here is the challenge; you have to write a story that involves the following things:  
  
You must invent a character that is from any country. This character must use a least 10 unique colloquialisms for the country they come from eg. and Australian might say, G'day mate. The story must also include an escape, and sunburn. And, each of the main Hogan's hero's characters must speak at least once.  
  
Authors note- Hope you like it, the 'slang translations' are down the bottom.  
  
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Colonel Robert E. Hogan was getting a little sick and tired of the regular routine at the prison camp where he was stationed, Stalag 13. Even the irregular routine at the Stalag, (the one that involved blowing various things up, smuggling prisoners and messages etc.) had slowed down. Hogan hadn't had any excitement for weeks now, and the regularity of the prison camp was beginning to overwhelm him.  
  
~So this is what a prison camp is like for most people~  
  
As Hogan continued his walk around the camp he noticed a truck bringing in a new load of prisoners.  
  
Hogan gave an inward groan; he hated seeing new prisoners come in. Once they got to Stalag 13, they weren't getting out for the duration.  
  
Stuffing his hands in his bomber jackets pockets Hogan made his way across to Klinks office, so he could be present for the famous 'no escape is possible' talk.  
  
Three men stood in the commandant's office, two Englishmen in uniforms identical to Newkirks and a rather rough looking man, in the Australian uniform complete with slouch hat.  
  
All three looked pretty intimidated, as they stood rigidly at attention throughout the speech. Hogan stood in the background, waiting for the speech to finish. He barely listened any more; it was the same speech Klink gave every time new people arrived at camp.  
  
When it was finished and Klink had dismissed them Hogan took the three outside to give them a quick briefing of the camp. He wouldn't tell them of the operation yet, until they had been proven loyal.  
  
"Hello, I'm Colonel Hogan. I'll be here for the entirety of your stay. What are your names?"  
  
The first man to answer; "Corporal Eric Wilshire sir! English Air corps," was rather short, with black hair and dark green eyes. He looked scared out of his skin (which was completely understandable) and seemed to be one of those people who perpetually looks unhappy.  
  
"Sergeant Adam Greg sir! English Air corps!" This man was tall, with short blonde hair and brown eyes. He kept looking around him, curious about Stalag 13.  
  
"Corporal Steve Freed-Cot sir! Australian Army corps." Corporal Freed-Cot was average height, with floppy brown hair and a lopsided grin hanging on his face. He was quite tanned, with blue eyes and seemed fairly at ease.  
  
Hogan was surprised, what the heck was an Australian Army man doing here?  
  
"How did you get here?" he asked surprised, "isn't this an air force camp?"  
  
"Not sure mate, but I'm here." He grinned broadly. "This place really doesn't show much chop*, does it sir? Although, in it's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick." Hogan almost laughed out loud. His accent was so completely, so completely. Australian. It was flat, and different from any other accent he had ever heard before.  
  
"So am I the only Aussie here?" asked Steve.  
  
Hogan nodded.  
  
"Any Kiwi's?"  
  
"Kiwi?" asked the English sergeant confused.  
  
"Yeah mate a kiwi. A New Zealander."  
  
"I think there are a couple over in barracks three." Replied Hogan, grinning. He wasn't sure what to make of the Australian.  
  
Hogan noticed Newkirk coming towards him, and waved him over.  
  
"Corporals, Sergeant, this is Corporal Newkirk, he'll show you to where you'll be staying for the duration."  
  
"Hello lads, 'ow 'r we doin' today?" asked Newkirk in his cockney accent.  
  
"Good thanks mate, how's yourself?" asked Corporal Freed-Cot.  
  
"All right."  
  
"Ok guys" Newkirk said, leading the three new arrivals away from Hogan, towards a barracks, "you'll be staying here, in barracks 6."  
  
As Newkirk walked away, with the two quiet Englishman and the talkative Aussie (who was making comments like "Stiffen the lizards**, look at the size of those guns!" Hogan began to have a feeling that life was going to get a little bit more interesting.  
  
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* Doesn't show much chop- doesn't look very impressive  
  
** Stiffen the lizards- exclamation of surprise  
  
Please leave a review! There's more coming soon. (If you like it that is) 


	2. Settled and Unsettled

An Aussie in their midst, Chapter two- Settled and unsettled  
  
Summary- What will Hogan do when the new arrivals begin to plan an escape?  
  
Authors note- Hope you like it so far! Go the Aussies!  
  
Linda in Brissy- There will be tucker! I promise it.  
  
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It had been two weeks since the new prisoner's arrival. Hogan had been right, having a man from the Australian outback, complete with slang and slouch hat had made life very interesting indeed. The Aussie kept making comments at the English about how they couldn't play cricket and had attempted to teach Carter and a few others to play Aussie Rules (A.F.L). Newkirk still went into gales of laughter remembering Louis Lebeau's (the prisoner's chef) face, when in the middle of his 'welcome to the stalag dinner' of fine French cuisine Freed-cot asked if he could have a snag.  
  
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Corporal Steven Freed-Cot had a very clear purpose as he walked across the compound during free time. He wanted to talk to Colonel Hogan. Freed-Cot was restless, and annoyed. He was sick of prison camp. He wanted to get back out into the fighting, his friends were out there, somewhere and all he could do was sit around trying to teach the Americans to play a decent game of footie.  
  
Any time Steven tried to bring up escaping however the person he was talking too had something to do, people to see. Steve even had an almost fool-proof escape plan. He just couldn't do it alone.  
  
Knocking loudly on the door of Barracks two, the corporal heard a shout to come in.  
  
He entered, and found three men playing a card game at the table.  
  
"Hey Steve!" said Andrew Carter, grinning, "why are you here?"  
  
"Looking for Colonel Hogan," he replied, "is he here?"  
  
"Through that door." Said a black sergeant whose name Freed-cot couldn't place.  
  
"Thanks mate."  
  
He pushed the door to Colonel Hogan's quarters open, to find the Colonel sitting on his bed thumbing through a book.  
  
"Corporal," Hogan said, acknowledging the salute he was getting and setting down his book, "how may I help you?"  
  
Freed-Cot shut the door and turned to Hogan, "Look Colonel, I'm not here to bat the breeze with you*. I wanna get out of here, I'm about as happy as a bastard on father's day**. I know I have a shot at*** getting out of here, but no one will even talk about escape. What's the deal?"  
  
Hogan didn't quite know what to say, he hadn't yet checked out the Australian completely, and so couldn't tell him about the no escape rule. But then, he didn't have a reason for the Aussie not to escape.  
  
"How were you thinking of getting out?"  
  
"Well mate, there's a blind spot in the fence, I figure I cut a hole through that, get someone to cry bloody murder**** at the other end of camp as a distraction and then I take off into the bush. All I need is a cockatoo, so I knew if the guards were coming."  
  
Hogan was seriously confused. He usually was after talking to the corporal. Australian English, especially outback Australian English, was very hard to translate.  
  
"What do you mean by a cockatoo?" Hogan asked, wishing Freed-Cot came with a little dictionary where you could look all his phrases up.  
  
"A lookout mate, someone to watch my back."  
  
"Right." Hogan tried to think of some plausible reason not to let him escape, "when did you want to try your escape?"  
  
"There's a full moon tomorrow night, and the night after. I figure one of those nights." Freed-Cot said, feeling excited that finally someone was going to help him escape.  
  
"Right." That didn't give Hogan very much time to come up with a way to stop him.  
  
"I'll try and find you a lookout, I'll see you before tomorrow night."  
  
"Thanks mate!" exclaimed Steve, then realising his mistake he saluted quickly and added, "I mean sir."  
  
"Dismissed" said Hogan wearily, waving the excited Corporal out of his office.  
  
Freed-cot grinned as he exited the office. Yes! A chance to get out of this place, and back to his battalion. He saw the cook, what was his name? LeBeau that was it, mixing something on the stove.  
  
"Hey LeBeau, any chance I can grab some tucker? The hominy***** they serve here is bloody awful!"  
  
Kinch and Carter, who were sitting at the table, both choked when they heard Freed-Cot call LeBeau's beloved food, tucker.  
  
LeBeau looked like he was going to have a fit or something, he began twitching slightly.  
  
Freed-Cot turned around to Carter for an explanation of the French man's sudden attack. Carter waved his arms at the door in a 'get out while you still can' sort of motion.  
  
The corporal didn't ignore the advice, as Louis who now looked quite ready to explode began to turn towards him.  
  
"On second thought mate, I reckon I can tackle the food in the kitchen afterwards." He spun and left rather quickly.  
  
After he had heard the barracks door close Hogan came out into the room to find LeBeau shouting angry French at the stove, as if it had offended him greatly.  
  
He gave Kinch a curious look, and Kinch smiled broadly. "Freed-Cot asked Louis for some tucker." He explained.  
  
LeBeau began another barrage of abuse at the stove.  
  
"Men, we have a bit of a problem. Freed-Cot has an escape planned and because we haven't checked him out yet I can't tell him about the operation."  
  
"What do we do?" asked Carter  
  
"Wee have to try and check him out by tomorrow night." Hogan said, "If we can't do that I'll send on of you along with him."  
  
"I'm not going." LeBeau interrupted, "that loony Aussie will probably get me killed trying to feed me some of his snags!" He said snags as if it were the spawn of all evil or something.  
  
"I'd assumed you wouldn't be." Hogan said smoothly, he continued with his plan, "I'll sen done of you along and you'll get him caught, and brought back here. I do feel a bit sorry for him though, he's with a group of air force men because of some German mishap, and there isn't a single other person of his nationality in camp."  
  
"I'll go with him sir!" said Carter excitedly, "can I blow up a bridge or something while I'm gone? I've got some really good explosives locked away and oh boy would they make some nice fireworks and." Carter had finally realised Hogan was giving him the look.  
  
"Sorry sir."  
  
"That's ok Carter, be ready to go tomorrow night."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
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*bat the breeze- engage in idle talk  
  
**about as happy as a bastard on fathers day-unhappy  
  
***have a shot at- have a chance at  
  
**** cry bloody murder- make a huge amount of noise.  
  
***** hominy- prison food.  
  
Hope you like it so far! REVIEWS PLEASE! 


	3. Sunburn?

An Aussie in their midst, Chapter 3- Sunburn?  
  
Summary- Hogan has an escape to stop, but how?  
  
Authors note- Thanks for the reviews! Enjoy! P.S I'm about as sunburnt as Freed-Cot, (even though I slip, slop slapped!) Just thought I'd share that with everyone!  
  
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Colonel Hogan sat at the table trying to think of a way to get Freed-Cot not to escape. He had about 5 hours to do it. Hogna had decided that just sending out Carter with him wasn't good enough. They had to keep the Aussie in camp. The corporal was very clever, and he might be hard to get re- captured, even if Carter was with him.  
  
London had said that they couldn't verify Freed-Cot yet, Hogan and his men had to wait another day or two while they got in contact with the Australian government.  
  
What could he say to Freed-Cot to get him to postpone his escape, even to tomorrow night? Hogan decided that 'I'm sorry, you have to wait until London clears you' might not work, neither would 'we have a no escape's policy'. He had to come up with a serious reason. Hogan was about to go see if he could get Klink to double the patrols that night or something sinister when there was a knock at the door of the barracks.  
  
"Come in" called Hogan, his mind still trying to come up with an idea.  
  
Corporal Steve Freed-Cot entered the barracks, looking like he had been painted red all over his face, arms and legs.  
  
"Sir, can I have a sec?"  
  
Hogan waved at the bench opposite him, "Sure, sit down."  
  
"Sir, is it possible that we can postpone the escape until tomorrow night?" Years of poker playing were the only thing that kept Colonel Hogan's face straight.  
  
"Why?" he managed to choke out, before the urge to start singing 'Halleluiah' became to strong and he shut his mouth.  
  
"Well you see sir, the pommies* were playing cricket and I had to get in there to show them how it was done. Except, I in such a hurry I forgot to slip, slop, slap**. And now I'm so burnt I can barely move. I'd be a bloody idiot to give it a bash*** getting out tonight. I should be better by tomorrow, and even if I'm not, I'm goin' anyway." He paused and gave Hogan a sort of lopsided grin, then stopped because his face was burnt to much for that kind of exertion.  
  
"You know mate, I still can't believe that I'm the first cab off the rank getting out of here."  
  
Hogan gave him a confused look.  
  
"Sorry mate, I'm talking bush again. I mean I'm the first one to try escaping."  
  
Hogan grinnined as he realised he had an opportunity to talk off the escape. "Oh, others have tried but our fearless commandant stops every escape attempt. There's never been a successful escape from stalag 13, and I'm starting to think there never will be." Hogan's depressed speech did nothing to dampen the excited corporal's spirits.  
  
"You've whipped the cat**** sir! Just because some men got stopped doesn't mean we all will! I'm gonna keep trying to get out of here until I either get back to cactus*****, or I rattle the pan!******"  
  
Hogan gave an enormous internal groan. He hadn't completely understood what the corporla was saying, but the tone of his voice said he was just going to keep trying to escape until he got away. Hogan was going to have to think of something else. "I'll reschedule the escape for tomorrow corporal." He said, standing up and heading over to the stove for some coffee, "I hope your sunburn has gone down a bit."  
  
"So do I mate!" Freed-Cot exclaimed feverently, as he opened the door and left the barracks.  
  
Hogan went back to trying to find a way to call off the escape completely, glad that he now had more time to do it.  
  
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Sorry it's short! Please review!  
  
* Pommies- English  
  
** slip, slop, slap -I'm pretty sure they use this everywhere but anyway, -slip slop slap are the three rules of being out in the sun (drilled into all us Aussies from birth) slip on a shirt, slop on some sunscreen and slap on a hat.  
  
*** give it a bash- have a try  
  
****whipped the cat- given up.  
  
***** Back to cactus- get back home  
  
****** rattle the pan- die. 


	4. Escape Time

An Aussie in their midst, chapter 4- Escape time  
  
Summary- Freed-Cot has gotten out, how are they gonna get him back in?  
  
Authors note- Thanks for the reviews!  
  
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Corporal Freed-Cot stood at the side of a barracks, with the American sergeant Carter standing beside him. At the other end of camp Colonel Hogan and his boys had arranged a distraction, a welcome to stalag 13 party for the newest prisoners, who had just arrived that morning.  
  
Carter gave the signal to Freed-Cot for them to head to the wire, still wondering how he was going to get them re-captured. The colonel had had no choice but to let them escape, London still hadn't given him permission to tell Freed-Cot about the operation because they had to clear him with the Aussie government.  
  
The snuck quickly across the compound, and were almost at the wire when Carter saw his chance, there was a tyre lying across his path. Pretending not to see it, he kept creeping stealthily forward and deliberately tripped over the log, making a loud 'THUD' noise. He let out a 'surprised' yell, hoping the guards would see him.  
  
"Bite your bum* mate!" exclaimed Freed-Cot, "you'll bring every goon in camp down on us."  
  
Before Carter could reply the light from one of the guard towers shone down on him, lying sprawled over the tyre. Freed-Cot darted out of the way before he was seen.  
  
"Don't move!" bellowed a German voice, and the light stayed shining in Carter's eyes so he couldn't see. Deciding that getting shot probably wouldn't help the plan Carter stayed where he was.  
  
Corporal Steve Freed-Cot didn't. Seeing Carter was caught he called out a soft, "sorry you couldn't come to" and ran towards the fence. All the lights ow shone at Carter, and the fence wasn't being watched. All it took was wire-cutters and a sprint to the forest and Steve Freed-Cot was free. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Colonel R.E. Hogan stood at attention, (a sort of slouch with a hand pressed floppily to the forehead) in Colonel Klink's office. Carter stood rigidly next to him. Klink was giving a lecture on how people shouldn't try to escape, they'd be caught, yadda, yadda yadda. Hogan had sort of tuned out. He had better things to worry about.  
  
The plan had failed completely. Not only was Carter spending his next several days (or weeks) in the cooler, Freed-Cot had escaped completely without anyone knowing where he was going. Klink was almost hysterical. A prisoner had escaped! Burkhalter was going to kill him!  
  
Hogan was trying to think of a plan. He was tempted to send his boys out to find Freed-Cot and bring him home, but Klink had an army of men in the area surrounding the camp. All that would happen is more of his men would get caught.  
  
He was itching to get into the tunnel where Kinch was trying to contact the underground and tell them to recapture Freed-Cot. Itching for Klink to call off the guards so that his men could locate the Aussie corporal. Itching to do something other than stand there.  
  
The phone rang suddenly, and Klink stopped his talk, glaring at the it for interrupting him. Picking up the phone and saying a rather subdued, "Colonel Klink of Stalag 13" he almost dropped the phone when a very angry General Burkhalter began roaring down the line at him.  
  
Hogan fought the urge to laugh as the words "stupid, incompetent fool" came up for a second time.  
  
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Freed-Cot flattened himself against the ground as yet another torch beam swept over him. Every step he took in any direction he came closer to more guards. They didn't seem very competent though. It sounded to him like he made so much noise they could have heard him from the stalag.  
  
He kept creeping, hoping that soon he would come to the town he remembered seeing on the trip to the prison. There he could steal some food, clothes and hopefully a car. As he crept Freed-Cot was also trying to think of a cover story in case a local stopped him. He decided almost immediately that "I just wanna get home, to out back o' Bourke*" so he decided to play dumb and pretend he couldn't speak at all.  
  
He continued on, trying to remember any German he had heard at the camp and failing miserably. Maybe he should have planned the escape just a little more.  
  
Freed-Cot couldn't continue on that train of thought though because at that moment he was almost trodden on by on of the guards.  
  
Time to concentrate again! He said to himself, rolling to one side and lying still.  
  
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*Bite your bum- be quiet **Back o' Bourke- out past Bourke, out into the boonies, the middle of no where.  
  
REVIEWS ARE ESSENTIAL! PLEASE! More coming. -Capt.Cow 


	5. No one ever escapes from the gestapo

An Aussie in their midst, Chapter 5- No one ever escapes from the Gestapo.  
  
Summary- Freed-Cot gets caught, by the wrong people.  
  
Author's note- Thanks for the reviews! Please write me more!  
  
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Klink waved at Hogan to dismiss him from the office. It was just to embarrassing having him there hearing all the abuse that Burkhalter was hurling down the phone at him. The General obviously hadn't gotten up on the right side of the bed.  
  
Hogan and Carter left to office after being silently dismissed by Klink. They hurried to barracks two, trying to look like they weren't hurrying at all. They arrived at the barracks and entered. Carter almost tripped over his own feet in an attempt to get down into the tunnel and find out what had happened in the time he had been listening to Klink's lecture.  
  
Before either Carter or Hogan could get across the room the bunk bed opened and out stepped Kinch.  
  
"What's going on Kinch?" Hogan asked, his stomach lurching at the look on the black sergeants face.  
  
"Freed-Cot has been re-captured sir." Kinch said dejectedly.  
  
"That's good!" Carter exclaimed, and then he noted Kinch's face, "Isn't it?"  
  
"Not when it's the Gestapo who recaptured him." Kinch replied.  
  
Hogan swore. "When did you hear that?" he asked.  
  
"Just then. Hochsetter never going to let Klink forget this."  
  
"Is he coming back to camp?"  
  
"No. The underground has an agent inside the Gestapo, and he says that they're taking Freed-Cot to Gestapo headquarters."  
  
Hogan swore again.  
  
"My thoughts exactly sir."  
  
"We have to get him out of there." Hogan said determinedly.  
  
"What!" exclaimed Newkirk who had just appeared out of the tunnel, "have you gone completely barmy sir? He's at GESTAPO HEADQUARTERS. Once you've gone in, you don't come out again."  
  
"We have to Newkirk. Freed-Cot wouldn't have been caught if it weren't for us, we were the ones who deliberately ruined his escape. If hochsetter thinks that Freed-Cot knows something about the operation he suspects we run here he won't hold off until he gets a signed confession saying Stalag 13 is an underground headquarters or something.. Gestapo torturers can make a person admit to almost anything. We have to get him out for his sake and ours."  
  
"I'm in sir." Carter volunteered, feeling guilty about his part in the ruining of the escape.  
  
"Thanks Carter." Hogan said, "This will be a dangerous mission. You don't have to some if you don't want to."  
  
"I'm in." Kinch said quietly.  
  
"Me too." Newkirk added.  
  
"Maybe," Said LeBeau, speaking from where he sat at the table, "I don't like this Aussie very much. With his snags and his beer. Why should I risk my life for him?"  
  
"You don't have to come."  
  
LeBeau smiled broadly, "Ha! Fooled you all! Of course I'm coming mon colonel, no one deserves Gestapo imprisonment, not even the Australian."  
  
"Thanks Louis, you had us all fooled for a minute there!" exclaimed Newkirk.  
  
"I know."  
  
"All right men, now I have a plan."  
  
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Corporal Steve Freed-Cot was in the back of a truck heading to Gestapo headquarters. Opposite him sat two Gestapo lieutenants, with guns. Steve had now decided that escaping from the Gestapo would be a little bit more difficult then stalag 13.  
  
He with held the temptation to speak, these guys didn't look as friendly as the guards at the Stalag.  
  
The truck stopped moving and the guards stood up, Freed-Cot did as well.  
  
"Move!" said one of the guards in heavily accented English, poking his gun into the corporal's back.  
  
"I'm going; I'm going, hold your horses mate." Freed-Cot muttered, jumping out of the back of the truck.  
  
He was in the main street of a town it looked like, outside a large building with a big swastika flag hanging down the front.  
  
This must be the Gestapo headquarters, he thought quietly. Allowing himself to be ushered inside and taken to a cell.  
  
A short man was waiting for him just inside the door. He had a very smug expression on his face, and a rather evil grin. It was Major Hochestter  
  
"Hello Corporal, have a good ride?"  
  
"Well mate it wasn't to bad, but I think it could have been better if you."  
  
"QUIET!" Freed-cot rather sensibly shut up.  
  
"So corporal, you know Colonel Hogan do you?" Freed-cot was surprised by the question, and the look of pure hatred that shot across the short man's face when he spoke the Colonels name.  
  
"Yeah I know him, why?"  
  
"What do you know about his underground operation?" asked the major, coming right up next to him.  
  
"WHAT? Mate I think you need to get yourself a shelia*, the war's sending you round the bend."  
  
Hochsetter didn't bother trying to translate what the Australian had said, he just punched him in the stomach.  
  
"Let's try again shall we, what do you know about Colonel Hogan's underground operation?"  
  
"You're out of ya friggin mind mate. Hogan don't have no underground operation."  
  
Another punch.  
  
"You know corporal, it doesn't matter what you say now. Pretty soon I will capture colonel Hogan himself, and then he will tell me what you aren't saying."  
  
"How are you going to get the colonel mate? Reach a really long pole into camp and pull him out? That man is too scared to escape. He isn't leaving the camp till the Allies win the war."  
  
That statement got a harder punch. Freed-Cot doubled over to try and catch his breath.  
  
"Colonel Hogan may be scared to escape, but he isn't scared to leave of his own accord. I know there is something going on, and I will prove it. You see corporal; Hogan will most definitely try to rescue you. And when he does, I will be waiting for him."  
  
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REVIEW PLEASE! Sorry for the lack of 'Aussie' in this chapter, I'll try harder next time.  
  
*Shelia- girl 


	6. Aussie vs German

An Aussie in their midst, Chapter 6 Aussie vs German  
  
Summary- Hochsetter is getting a little more than he bargained from our Aussie, and the heroes have a plan.  
  
Authors note- Thanks to Marilyn P. for your review, and title inspiration.  
  
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It was about an hour later and both Hochsetter and Freed-Cot were rather worse for wear. Hochsetter was on the verge of pulling his hair out the Australian was just so, annoying. Freed-Cot was rather worse for wear from the frequent punches, slaps etc.  
  
"Look, mate, can't we just call it a day?" Freed-Cot said, everything in his body aching like mad.  
  
"I will stop when I get answers corporal!" exclaimed Hochsetter angrily, wishing he had an aspirin.  
  
"Snakey aren't we." Commented Freed-Cot, "look mate you said it yourself you can just get the answers out of Colonel Hogan when he arrives." He said it sarcastically, as if Hochsetter was mad expecting Colonel Hogan.  
  
Hochsetter glared at the corporal. "You will see corporal. If I were you I would be HOPING Hogan came for me, otherwise you will be here a very long time."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Hogan's plan was rather straightforward, and absolutely insane. It needed some very clever timing, rather clever acting and a hell of a lot of luck.  
  
He had gone to Klink and convinced him to send his car out to be fixed. That was transportation checked off his list.  
  
Meanwhile Newkirk had three Gestapo uniforms ready to go, a Colonel and two lieutenants.  
  
Carter had spent all morning finding the perfect stick of dynamite. Kinch had played with his radio. And LeBeau had cooked.  
  
Now they were all set.  
  
Hogan, Carter and Newkirk jumped in Klink's car and headed off towards Gestapo headquarters.  
  
LeBeau was keeping Schultz occupied.  
  
Kinch was sending a message to Hochsetter about a mass escape at Stalag 5, which was about 20minutes away from Gestapo headquarters. Hogan hoped Hochsetter and most of the Gestapo would take the bait, jump in their trucks, and head off to Stalag 5, leaving an easy job for Hogan, Carter and Newkirk.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Another hour of interrogation with the Australian and Hochsetter had given up. The Australian was a huge disappointment. Most men were an absolute well of information by now. All Freed-cot seemed capable of doing was talking in phrases that Hochsetter didn't understand. Like what the heck did "mate you're moving so much you look like you got a bandicoot down your shorts."  
  
Hochsetter was now sitting in his office, rubbing his temples and trying to ease away the headache that was now plaguing him.  
  
It had almost gone when the phone rang. The major groaned and leaned down to answer it.  
  
"Gestapo headquarters, Major Hochsetters office."  
  
"Sir, this is Corporal Kinch-Meyer, from Stalag 5, we've had a mss escape, thirty prisoners are missing. We need the Gestapo's help to recapture them all!"  
  
Finally something to brighten his day! Hochsetter smiled, he really didn't like the commandant of Stalag 5, and now was his chance to get rid of the man.  
  
"We'll be there as soon as we can corporal."  
  
"Excellent."  
  
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Hogan, Carter and Newkirk all dressed as Gestapo arrived just as a whole lot of trucks went flying down the road in the direction of Stalag 5.  
  
"Kinch did well" Newkirk muttered as they walked up the stairs. Hogan grinned slightly at him and then got into character. This was where it got a little bit risky. If Hochsetter had stayed behind he would recognise Colonel Hogan almost immediately, once he looked past the little black moustache that was stuck on to Hogan's face.  
  
"Here we go."  
  
Hogan swept through the door and slammed it behind him, causing everyone in the foyer of the Gestapo headquarters to look at him. He marched up to the reception desk and said in a very loud voice,  
  
"Colonel Hoffenwhaffer to see Major Hochsetter."  
  
"I'm sorry sir, but Major Hochsetter isn't here."  
  
Hogan's face turned purple. He actually looked ready to explode with rage.  
  
"NOT HERE!" He thundered, "NOT HERE!"  
  
"No sir!" stammered the terrified Sergeant at the desk, he left to investigate an escape.  
  
"Did he not remember that Colonel Hoffenwhaffer was coming to inspect him? Stupid man." Hogan was enjoying himself immensely.  
  
"No sir, he must have forgotten."  
  
"Well that is one point lost on his efficiency sheet," Hogan said, whipping a clipboard out form inside his coat and writing on it.  
  
As Hogan blocked the receptionists view with a clip board Newkirk and Carter walked straight past, trying to look like they belonged there.  
  
Once they were past Hogan (well, Hoffenwhaffer) continued to distract the receptionist, pointing at things and saying how inefficient they were, and then shouting at random intervals just to keep the poor man on his toes.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Ok, more is coming soon, sorry it took so long to update we disconnected our computer. Sorry if it takes a while to update, I'm not allowed on the computer during the week unless all my homework is done. -Capt.Cow 


	7. Heroes 1, Gestapo Nil

An Aussie in their midst Chapter 7- Heroes one, Gestapo nil  
  
Summary- The heroes get yet another victory over the Gestapo.  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own the heroes, but Freed-Cot is mine!  
  
Authors note- Thanks for the reviews. I'm trying to get this finished off, I really am!  
  
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Newkirk and Carter walked briskly down the winding corridors of the headquarters, trying to locate Freed-Cots cell. They knew the number (Kinch had rung earlier and requested the information in his 'don't mess with me I'm a grumpy German voice') it was just hard to work out where on earth the prison block was.  
  
Finally Carter saw a sign that pointed to the cells.  
  
"This way." He muttered to Newkirk and they strode down the corridor, trying to find no. 14.  
  
They found it, and Carter went to stand watch, while Newkirk inconspicuously picked the lock on Freed-Cots cell, trying to make it look completely normal.  
  
The door swung open after a couple minutes of work, and Newkirk stepped in. Freed-Cot was lying on his bunk, when the door opened. He jumped up when Newkirk came in.  
  
"Look you dingbat, I've already told you, I don't know anything about your bloody underground!"  
  
"That's good to hear. Now, do you wanna get out of here, or do we leave you in your cell?" Newkirk said hurriedly, they didn't have very much time before Hochsetter got back from the fake escape.  
  
"You're a Pom?" Freed-Cot sounded surprised, but then he recognised Newkirk, "you're from the prison camp! Why on earth are you here?"  
  
"No time to explain Kangaroo boy, we have to go." Newkirk sounded quite insulted by the Pom comment.  
  
"Sweet. Let's get moving!" Freed-Cot leapt up, grabbed his beloved slouch hat and followed Newkirk.  
  
"Not yet." Newkirk said, he reached under his jacket and produced a Gestapo uniform, "put it on, then you won't be so conspicuous. But no talking, they'd pick your accent out anywhere."  
  
Newkirk went outside and gave Carter a wave to come and do his job. Then he took up a position standing watch.  
  
Carter walked to the cell and dropped some explosives so that the cell would blow. He also dropped in the corner some stuff that would make it look like Freed-Cot had died. They were hoping it looked like the underground had killed freed-Cot before he could talk.  
  
His job done Carter stuck his head out of the cell, gave Newkirk a thumbs up and they shut the door, replaced the lock, grabbed Freed-Cot and headed off down the corridor the way they had come.  
  
It took forever for them to arrive back at the reception desk where they left Colonel Hogan. First Newkirk had gotten them lost and then Freed-cot had almost got them all shot as spies when he stubbed his toe and swore loudly in a very un-German accent.  
  
It had taken Carter a lot of explaining. He wasn't quite sure the officer who questioned them believed that Freed-Cot was 'trying to get into character to infiltrate a prison camp as an Australian.'  
  
They sped up a bit after that.  
  
When the trio finally arrived back where they left Colonel Hogan he was looking like he was running out of things to shout at the receptionist for.  
  
He saw them and let out a huge sigh of relief, which he covered up with a cough. Then he started shouting at the receptionist again, this time for having the place so dusty. Whipping out his clipboard Hogan blocked the receptionists view as Newkirk, Carter and Freed-Cot walked to the exit.  
  
They were out of the building.  
  
"Well, I will be back sometime next week, be ready then. Fix all the problems I've told you about. See you later." Hogan said to the quivering mess that had once been the receptionist.  
  
With that Colonel Hogan turned and walked briskly from the building.  
  
He almost fainted when as soon as he left the building Major Hochsetter and his goons rushed into the building as fast as they could run. The major was shouting louder than Hogan had ever heard him. He decided now was a good time to get out of there quickly.  
  
Running around the corner Hogan found Newkirk, Carter and Freed-Cot already in the truck.  
  
"Let's get out of here, there is one very grumpy Major in Gestapo headquarters."  
  
"Good idea sir!" Newkirk exclaimed, putting his foot on the accelerator and driving away from the headquarters.  
  
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Ok, that's it for this chapter, I know it's not very much. And there wasn't very much Aussie in this chap but I have to get to Hockey and I wanted to post something.  
  
Thanks for being patient! PLEASE REVIEW!-Capt.Cow 


	8. The excitement continues

An Aussie in their midst, Chapter 8- The excitement continues  
  
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Newkirk floored it all the way back the woods near stalag 13. They were pretty sure that Hochstetter, having now realised his prisoner was gone, would be heading straight here, so they had to make sure they were visible, and with innocent looks on their faces, by the time he arrived.  
  
They knew they couldn't abandon the truck near Stalag 13, so a member of the underground, Mother Goose, was waiting for them to drive it away and dump it in the opposite direction. The heroes, and Freedcot, jumped out and proceeded on foot to the tunnel.  
  
When they arrived at the tunnel, and Carter opened it up Freedcot gave a small, shout. Then a look of realisation dawned on his face.  
  
"So that's what Hochesetter was talking about. I just thought he was nuts. I mean, some of the things he said, the man sounded nuttier than a fruitcake."  
  
"I second that Hochsetter is nuttier than a fruitcake." Said Hogan, with a completely serious expression on his face as they made their way into the tunnel and the control room.  
  
Freedcot was looking around like Christmas had come early.  
  
"Oh by the way, Corporal, you are hereby sworn to secrecy about all you see here, don't tell the Germans, etc."  
  
"Ok. Sounds good to me."  
  
"Sir, we might want to plaster innocent looks on our faces and get upstairs." Newkirk said, "Hochsetter will be here any minute."  
  
"Alright, Freedcot, you stay here. Don't touch, don't break, and definitely don't leave. We'll be back once we divert Hochsetter."  
  
"Yes sir!"  
  
"Good. Ok, let's go talk to our old Gestapo buddy." Hogan said, climbing up the ladder.  
  
They had closed the tunnel and assumed innocent positions by the time the door slammed open and Hochsetter marched in looking very similar to a thundercloud.  
  
"HOGAN! What have you done with my prisoner?!" Hochsetter boomed as soon as he saw the colonel.  
  
"I have no idea what you are talking about Major." Hogan said, looking the major straight in the eye.  
  
"Yes you do Hogan! And I will prove it!" Hochsetter said angrily, "My men are going to search this barracks until they find him!"  
  
"Well, search the barracks major, I don't know why you think you're prisoner could be here."  
  
Hochsetter grunted and waved his hand, and about five Gestapo men walked into the room. They began search all around the barracks. Hogan held his breath. The second part of his plan should come into play soon. He held his breath as one of the Gestapo went up to the bunk bed hiding the tunnel. At least he hoped it came soon. Having those guys so close to the tunnel was going to give him a heart attack.  
  
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Ok, there we go. I know its not long enough, but I thought I should update something to this poor neglected story. More will come once I finish all my assessment tasks. PLEASE REVIEW! –Capt.Cow 


	9. Home in sight

An Aussie in their midst- Chapter 9  
  
Author's note- Here we go. This is the last chapter in my story, although if you want I could write more about good old Corporal Steve Freedcot. Please enjoy the chapter (it isn't very good) and review at the end! Thankyou.  
  
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Hogan stood watching the men near the bunk very closely. In his head he was running over a way to distract their attention if he thought they were going to find the tunnel. He was silently cursing the underground for taking so long with their part of the plan.  
  
Suddenly a Gestapo man ran into the barracks at top speed and started talking to Major Hochsetter in German.  
  
Hogan imprinted the look of surprise and horror on Major Hochsetter's face into his memory. It was priceless. And very relieving. The underground had come through for them.  
  
"Klink, I have to go. We have another lead. I will be back though." He shot a threatening look at Hogan and marched quickly form the room, closely followed by his goons, Schultz and Klink.  
  
"Well that was close." Muttered Newkirk, after a collective sigh of relief went around the room.  
  
"I'll say." Agreed Carter, "but why did they leave?"  
  
"I asked the underground to do us a favour. I asked them to make a fake trail away from Stalag 13, to divert suspicion from us. I'm very glad it worked. Now all we have to do is grab our little Aussie friend and stick him on a submarine back to England."  
  
"I'll go get him." Carter said, heading for the tunnel.  
  
He returned a few moments later with Freed-Cot. A couple large bruises were starting to come up on the corporal's face, and he had a cut above one eye, but apart from that he seemed ok after his Gestapo ordeal.  
  
"So what's going to happen now mate? You've sent that Gestapo boy on the wrong tram*, but he'll be back, and then we'll all be on a bit of a sticky wicket**."  
  
"We're going to get you to the underground, and they'll put you on a submarine back to England. You'll be back and fighting before you know it." Hogan said to Freed-Cot, smiling as the Australians face lit up.  
  
"I get to go back to my mates! They'll think I'm barmy as a bandicoot*** when I tell 'em about you blokes."  
  
"Yeah, about that..." Newkirk said, "You can't tell them anything about us. We don't exist. We can't let the Germans know that we're here, working under their noses or..."  
  
"Ok boys, don't have to worry bout me. I won't turn dingo on you****."  
  
"Thanks, I think." Hogan said, not quite understanding the Aussie, but getting the general gist of what he was saying.  
  
"The underground will be waiting for you tonight, that way you'll be long gone before Hochsetter realises he was set up." Hogan explained, "You might want to get some sleep before then. I think we all need it."  
  
The heroes agreed heartily. They had been up and running around, confusing Germans for hours and were all exhausted. Everyone took their leave, and Freedcot disappeared down into the tunnel to veg out for a while.  
  
It seemed like no time had passed at all when Hogan felt Kinch shaking him.  
  
"Sir, time to go."  
  
Hogan jumped up out of bed, pulled on his bomber jacket and went to join the goodbyes.  
  
Down the tunnel Freed-cot was standing with an underground agent, Peter Pan, all set to leave. Hogan could clearly see the beloved slouch hat tucked under one arm.  
  
The heroes assembled around him, not quite sure what to say to the man who had made their lives so interesting over the past couple weeks.  
  
"Oh well, thanks mates, for breaking me out." Freedcot said earnestly, "I thought I was down the creek without a paddle***** before you blokes arrived."  
  
"It was nothing." Carter said quickly, "well, I mean, it was something, breaking into Gestapo headquarters and all, but it was nothing because you're our friend and..."  
  
"I get the gist mate. No need to waffle on******." Freedcot said, grinning at the sergeant.  
  
Carter grinned back a little sheepishly.  
  
Newkirk stepped forward and offered the Australian his hand, "Good to meet you mate." Newkirk said, "Maybe we can all get together after the war and have a beer or two."  
  
"Deal." Freedcot said happily, "I'll see ya then."  
  
Kinch held out his hand a Freedcot took it, with a quiet "I'm sorry about your radio mate."  
  
Kinch's face went bright red. "What did you do to my radio?" he asked quickly.  
  
"Nothing mate, just wanted to see the look on your face."  
  
Kinch smiled good naturedly and went to check on the radio, just in case.  
  
LeBeau shook the other corporal's hand, muttering about 'poor taste' and 'snags on the barbie'.  
  
Finally Freedcot turned to Hogan.  
  
"Well sir, good luck with your little operation down here. I'd be scared out of my wits to be within Cooee******* of the Germans, but you blokes, your braver than I am that's for sure. It's been a pleasure to be in your camp."  
  
"Well corporal, it sure will be, quieter without you here."  
  
"I'll take that as a compliment sir." Freedcot said, giving a final wave and following the Peter Pan, the underground agent, up the ladder to the surface and to freedom.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Translations-  
  
*on the wrong tram- in the wrong direction, given the wrong idea ** Bit of a sticky wicket- trouble ***barmy as a bandicoot- crazy, insane **** Turn dingo- be an informer, to spill secrets *****up the creek without a paddle- in trouble ******waffle on- to ramble on *******- to be within cooee-to be very close  
  
Yeah, yeah I know, the last chapter was sappy mushy crap, but I can't write endings! Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter and the story! There might be a sequel in the works if you reviewers think it's worth it. PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks so much for reading! –Capt.Cow 


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